You Don’t Have to Accept Hair Loss

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As an Alopecia Life Coach, this is something that may be taboo for me to say.  I am pretty unconventional, so this does not concern me.  It is still truth.

My philosophy is you really don’t have to accept hair loss, in fact you may never be able to. Your only goal for dealing with hair loss and anything else that occurs in your life is to accept you.

Accept you in whatever circumstance and situation you experience. This is how to conquer what lies ahead of you.  Armour yourself with confidence and affirm there is nothing you cannot achieve or withstand.

It may seem an impossible and daunting task to imagine how you are beautiful as patches of hair grow larger and your hair is in your brush or sink. I get it, I have been there. It still has to be done. Will it be work, of course. You are losing your hair and you are scared, but who better than you is worth it?

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Accept you are a constant source of love and life. Believe you are more than your hair, more than the thoughts and perceptions of others. Know the same person who is standing today is the same person that has endured challenges and struggles before and won.

We are not created to be broken, disgruntled or shamed. We are not designed to be labeled and characterized. We as humans choose this path. It is not chosen for us.

The world does not owe you acceptance and it does not give you value. You alone are required to provide those things for you.  So, don’t accept the hair loss. It is what it is. Accept you are beautiful in spite of it and choose how to proceed from that place of self love and positivity.

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Choose to wear weaves, wigs, scarves or anything you desire with full confidence in you.  What you will discover is loss of hair does not matter. It happens, you adapt and keep moving forward living your best life. The life you have always imagined, just with less hair, but more confidence. The one you desire and deserve. Remember, it is up to you to love you just as you are.

“What is love? Love is the absence of judgement.”  -Dalai Lama

Until next time.

Blessings and Love,

Denise

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In the Shadow of Confidence

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Formally stated, Newton’s third law is: For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction.

This means, in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two objects within it. The size of force on the first object is equal to the size of the force on the second.

I believe this law remains true for all things within us. Today I’m specifically addressing confidence.

Am I saying we can be confident and have self – doubt  at the same time? Yes. In order to project the image of confidence, we must also cast a shadow of doubt. A shadow is made when an object blocks light. This also refers to the light inside of us.

For a shadow to be cast, the object must be opaque or translucent. Since we are made of many things, experiences, feelings and thoughts included, we are not transparent. Our light does not simply pass through us. Instead, our light is reflected and acts as a beacon to others. (This concept of reflection is a topic in itself for another day.)
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For example, we have moments when we are ready to take on the world combined with thoughts of, what does the world see and are we worthy to be who we say we are in it.
The key to conquering uncertainty is to choose to be confident AND command control of the doubt. How can this be done?

1) Acknowledge the doubt. See it for what it is and look at how you use it? Is it fear? A remnant of a past experience, a motivater or an excuse not to move forward. 

2) Shine the light on it!!!  Be mindful of your perspective. Remember for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. By choosing your perspective, you remain in control of the doubt. Basically, you have it on a leash, directing it’s actions instead of it running wild in your mind. This chosen position of power diminishes its effect on you. 

3) Remember, It’s All Child’s play Use your vivid imagination to be and see everything you are doubting. Like we played that’s my car when we were kids. Own the doubt. Just as you saw yourself driving that little red Corvette, see yourself being and doing what you are hesitant to believe you can.

I will insert a source of doubt for me here. I am confident that I can make an impact on the lives of others. I love to write, but know I have to develop other strategies to achieve the plans I have created.  I love to speak and feel I am well spoken, but am doubtful I can speak well to an audience. 

Riding shotgun with the confidence I have about speaking is that infamous shadow of doubt. I have spoken publicly and was sweating profusely inside and out the entire time because I was terrified, so I am all too familiar with the feeling.  In order to become a better and less sweaty speaker, I knew I had to acknowledge the doubt and take control of it.

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Now, daily I  imagine myself standing on a stage speaking to an audience of thousands!!!  I see their faces as they are captivated by my every word and feel the thunderous applause as they give me a standing ovation.

I replay it over and over again until I can’t help but feel it every time I think of public speaking in any capacity and especially when I  see a stage.  I have that script written in my head.

 “And the LORD answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.”                                                        Habakkuk 2:2

4) Practice Complete these steps when self-doubt occurs. Also, make it a practice to do them before you need them.

Spend time rummaging through that closet of your mind that stores your doubt and take inventory of it often. With the practice of mindfulness, you will discover the magnitude of doubts within that closet diminishes. 

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“Where there is light, there must be shadow, where there is shadow there must be light. There is no shadow without light and no light without shadow….”

                                                                                                                            – Haruki Murakami

 

Until next time,

“Do all things in Love”

Denise